you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
