I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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