Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize