On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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