then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
