Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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