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This dress was meant to end up on your floor
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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