Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
