i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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