from now on my penis is your penis
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
