whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
