I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
