i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
