i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
