Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
