Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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