Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
