You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
