So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
