how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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