btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize