I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She announced her abortion via fbk
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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