just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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