i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
