is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
