Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
