Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
