i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
