You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
