Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
