dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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