shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
