Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
