During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I love you. Go after that dick
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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