My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
