i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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