i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
