I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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