i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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