marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
