as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
