Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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