Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
