I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
