At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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