Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
