Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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