Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
