Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
