i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
