from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
