My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
