take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
