If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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