Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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