I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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