just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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