i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
