is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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