I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
