Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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