you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
