Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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