can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize