i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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