I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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