my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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