So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
