these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
