The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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