i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
