if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
