I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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